Bathroom Etiquette: Toilet 101

How would you feel if at the age of nineteen, someone told you how to use the toilet because of your cultural background? Would you be offended? Do you know how to use the toilet? Do you squat, sit or stand?  You are in college now I would hope your mother or father taught you well before sending you off to a fancy university!  Swansea college official in west Wales England apparently thinks their students could use a refresher.  According to Swansea College officials in an interview given to BBC news “The informational posters were produced, for use in both male and female facilities, to help address cultural differences that were unfortunately causing damage and hygiene issues” Exactly which culture are they referring to? And why is that figure in the poster standing on the toilet? Is that how some people “go” in other countries?  I have traveled to several countries throughout the world and I have never known anyone to stand on the toilet.

I suspect it had nothing to do with actually using the toilet and more to do with hiding from the authorities while attempting to smoke something illegal while standing on the toilet, or at the very least just being a juvenile delinquent. I also suspect at some point someone had some stomach trouble or consumed too much adult beverage.   May be it’s the toilet troll from that Harry Potter movie that really made the mess.  Not everyone is clean and not everyone is considerate you know!  Unfortunately to the dismay of our educated colleagues who wrote the poster and initiated the policy it has absolutely nothing to do with culture… it’s call “bigotry”. Dude, welcome to this century, some people as just plain nasty… they just don’t care.  If these individuals don’t flush and clean up at home what makes you think they are going to do it in a public place.  Why do you think the parents are so happy the kids are off to college? The house can finally stay clean and mom and dad don’t have to play maid anymore.

I wonder who came up with the poster and if he or she remembered ever being young.  If you tell a young person to do something they will do the complete opposite.  It does not make the bathroom any cleaner by insinuating that the only people making the mess are from a different class or another culture, race, religion or country.  This coming from a university shows complete ignorance and narrow-mindedness and only serves to inflame the public perception of those in charge of the university.   Big brother is watching and he is prejudiced.  The bathroom is the hang out spot, the convention center, the make-up counter, the social worker’s office, the smoking room, the make out room and so much more. As much as you will it, public bathroom hygiene practices will never be better.

Individual pride determines how the restroom will fair but there will always be one idiot or one troll who cannot make it in time because he/she might be too drunk or just too embarrassed to clean it up after messing it up.  Aside from closing the bathroom to the public a college bathroom will never be the bathroom at the Ritz Carlton because it is what it is.  Making a poster that depicts how not to sit/sit on a toilet is not only condescending but racially inflammatory.   I’m surprised there is not a picture of someone wiping their ass on the poster to make a point. Yes, the posters can be useful but tact could have been used to produce a more informative and collaborative version.  Consult with student organizations and come up with a simple “please keep the facilities clean” or “please flush after each use” or “ please don’t place anything other than toilet paper in the commode” would suffice.  After all that is a university campus I think they are intelligent enough to figure it all out.

Heck they could even hold a contest to see who could come up with the best poster but that would be like using half a brain and giving up some of big brother’s power.  Not only that, it should be the university’s responsibility to provide orientation programs for all students including international students to help them adjust to life in a new place.  No need to be snobbish, no need to insult, no need to be a horses’ ass.  It can be said that true intelligence cannot be found in books. Oh by the way, put the seat down!